Confessions of a Mistress (I)

My trainer and I have been going out for dinner and drinks lately. He is always calling me and sending me text messages. He has been very sweet and caring and I think I'm getting used to it.

My trainer is 28 years old and has been married for 7 years. They have been together since high school and they got married when his wife got pregnant at 21. They have one baby girl and she is cute and smart. Her dad is really proud or her. The wife is a busy person who doesn't spend much time at home. She is working in an Accounting firm somewhere in Pasig (don't want to know where) and according to my trainer, they don't really spend much time together. I can actually see that since I already know my trainer's schedule and its as busy as hell. The thing is, even if he is super busy and we have different schedules, he is always making time for me. I'm home for some family gathering and he knows that Mr. Banker was there. He wanted me to go back to Manila as soon as possible. When I was on the family affair, he had been calling me and checking on me which is something that I'm not used to because I always do what I want to do. He even wanted me to go home early and not spend more time with my friends because of Mr. Banker. He admitted that he is super "nagseselos" and "natatakot" that Mr. Banker and I will be together again (which is very impossible)

Mr. Banker commented on how I look and they all noticed that I lost a lot of weight. As usual, Mr. Banker wanted me to go home with him (such a jerk). I went home alone and my trainer was happy to know that. I did not tell him of course about Mr Banker's comment.

I know that if I pursue this so called relationship with my trainer, it's gonna end up sooner if not later. I am enjoying his company. I consider myself a mistress and I am not proud of it. Let's just wait and see if something will come up. I haven't told my friends about this because I am sure they will all kill me. I am going against my principles and ideals now but what the heck! I am happy and yet I am free... I know I am very selfish but we already had an agreement that he should never leave his family for me no matter what happens. I told him to always spend time with his daughter specially that the mother is super busy.

I hope I am doing the right thing, I hope I won't fall in love with him...

big trouble

I think I'm in big trouble. My friend already warned me against having a trainer because I might fall daw for him. She said its possible daw because malamang everyday kami magkasama and pag uusapan namin ang buhay buhay namin.

Mas close kami ng trainer ko ngayon kesa yung una. We talk about our principles in life habang nag cru crunches ako. We talk about our work habang ang ro rowing ako. While am doing all the exercises that he's asking me to do, we talk about things.

Kantyawan kami. I call him yabang dahil niyayabang niya sakin yung katawan niya and Slow naman tawag niya sakin kasi hirap ako sa mga ibang exercise (haller naman kasi). Lagi kaming mag ka text kasi he would be checking on my diet. Bothered lang ako ngayon kasi parang medyo nagiging intimate yung mga text niya sakin. Merong pa "i miss you" pa siya or meron pang mga emoticon with kisses and all that. hindi ko alam kung paranoid lang ako or kung feeling maganda lang ako or kung meron talaga siyang sinasabi. AYOKO! dahil me asawa at anak siya. AYOKO na pumasok sa something na di ko mapapanindigan. AYOKO rin naman mag palit ng trainer dahil comfy na ako sa kanya and he knows my secrets na pati mga scars ko.

I don't want to fall for him and I hope I won't. hay para nanaman akong kumukuha ng bato na pukpok ko sa ulo ko.

sleepless nights

i have not been able to sleep for 4 days already. i don't really know but i have been restless for the past few days.
i finished my training last week and my presentation really f****ed up. i cannot figure out the financial impact of my so-called project. you see, in the account that i'm handling, we don't get incentives or penalty if we meet/exceed the client requirements or not. my team has met (actually exceeded) the clients goals and we have been consistent in doing so. i had to prepare a project that would enhance our performance and that would target a specific group in my team. the panelist wanted me to show the financial impact of that project and as much as i want to, there is NO money in my project at all. i indicated that by getting obtaining the client's trust and confidence, we may have additional business with them in the future which would generate income. i had to redo it and i am just waiting for the schedule of my presentation with our director (yikes, scary).

maybe this is the reason why i haven’t been sleeping well. i'm not sure why but there's a lot of things in my mind. i have over spent last month and the month before so i am really tight with my budget. i'm trying to save as much as i can. i also gained weight that is why my trainer is furious. he wants me to go on diet and i already did. i've cut down on carbs and red meat. i only eat white meat and veggies but he cannot ask me to not eat anything because I’m going to die for sure. Haha

i haven’t seen and heard anything from the banker. he has not updated me on my account yet and i hope he does because i’m getting paranoid haha. Anyway, I’m going to the gym later and burn all the fats that I have. :(

updates

Pasulpot sulpot na lang ako sa blog ko... goodluck naman...

ano bang bago?

wala lang, dito pa rin ako sa work ko. tinatapos ko rin mga required training para naman umangat. haggard dito sa work pero swerte pa rin kami dahil kahit na crisis may pumapasok pa rin na business sa account namin. it's going to be additional task for me but i don't really mind.
bago na yung trainer ko dahil nagresign yung dati. mabait naman tong baging trainer ko at matyaga naman kahit mapanlait. nag lose naman ako ng weight at nabawasan pa yung fat % ko.

wala na akong communication kay mr. banker. di na talaga kami nag uusap ang happy naman ako. lagi nila akong tinatanong kung bakit lagi akong mag isa. sagot ko, masaya akong mag isa. nagagawa ko yung mga gusto kong gawin. it's true sometimes it could be depressing but i always get over it. hindi lang isang lalake ang magiging reason ko to be happy. happy ako dahil ok mama ko. happy ako dahil maraming blessings akong nakukuha. happy ako dahil kahit sobrang pasaway ako i am still healthy and alive.i've stopped my communication with ralf as well. after what happened, wala na akong trust sa kanya. anyway, ganun talaga yun...

hindi nakapasa si mrs. nlj and nlj sa bar exams. naawa ako kay mrs. nlj dahil gustong gusto na niyang magkawork. sabi niya, nag tatampo daw siya kay lord because she studied hard and she prayed naman daw and yet she did not make it. matagal siyang di nagtext sakin and i understand that... kung gusto niya munang mag-isa and mag isip then okay lang. i just hope that she can decide on what she would do next.

wala na kong ibang update. sobrang boring pero busy rin ako lately...

mistake

Sa wakas natuloy din ang camsur ko. wala lang konting bakasyon lang. enjoy naman. nung first night kina ralph ako tumuloy. napakain ako ng chicken dahil wala ng food at napa inum din ako dahil na rin sa pili nila. the following day, we went to the beach. over night naman dun. kwentuhan kami ng buhay buhay. kumusta na siya, kumusta na rin ako. hindi fully developed yung beach kaya konti lang ang tao. pero maganda siya. tahimik. inibangan namin yung sunset at as usual bumabalik sakin lahat ng nakakalungkot na memories.

bumalik kaming naga at tumambay konti si CWC. di ako naka pag wakeboard kasi me competition pala and its not open sa public. kumusta naman. nadisappoint ako pero nag enjoy pa rin naman ako sa massage at nagbabad na lang ako sa pool.

nung bumalik ako ng manila. bad trip dahil kinuha nila lotion ko. bawal daw sa hand carry, diko lam kung bakit... masaya lahat , nag enjoy naman ako. ang nakakainis lang na part, hindi inamin sakin ni ralf na kinasal na pala siya nung january. never niyang sinabi sakin dahil baka daw di ako pumuntang camsur. all the while, pagkatapos kong magwhine at maglabas ng sama ng loob sa kanya dahil sa mga nangyari sakin malalaman kong ganun pala.

syet! kabit ako! para rin akong yung mga kinakainisan kong girls...

kinain ko lahat ng sinabi ko :(

Hu da Hell is Anthony Broas?!

I dreamed of someone named Anthony Broas. Weird because I have not met anyone with that name. I even googled it to check if he is someone famous that everyone should know him.
Anthony Broas, on my dream is my new boyfriend. Pathetic isn’t it? I don’t know why am dreaming of things like this. I don’t want to think that I am desperate to have someone new in my life. I am happy with my status right now. I am enjoying time alone. This is when I get to plan my life with out considering someone who will not be with me forever. Being single is when I mingle with other people with out someone getting jealous.
It could get lonely but at the end of the day, I am still satisfied and happy...






Or




Maybe not...

gym update

maganda ang result ng exercise ko. from 34% fat percentage ko which is considered obese, it went down to 28%. kakaloka mula nung exercise ako, nakokonsenya na ako kumain ng marami. mabait naman sakin yung trainer ko, minsan lang masungit. nag away pa kami minsan dahil haggardness naman yung pinapagawa niya. sabi ng agents ko, pumapayat na daw ako hehehe. so happy naman ako syempre. inspired tuloy sila mag gym because of me. enroll na rin daw sila. kaya ayun, wish ko lang di ko sila makasabay sa gym dahil kakahiya. oa ang pawis ko, tuwing pupunta ako ng gym, lahat ng damit ko basa sa pawis talaga.

yun lang ang gym update ko.

next time uli.