Friday, April 4, 2008

non emo

I'm back...
hmmmm... well I was not able to go to the beach. I had to go home to Baguio instead since my mother had her chemo. I still enjoyed my vacation. I was able to spend more time with my mother, my aunt and my nieces. I was so busy visiting my cousins and
friends that I haven’t seen for the longest time. I was not able to blog and besides my nieces were busy playing that fish thing at home (‘til now I still don’t get the goal of that game, they just kept on clicking the fishes).

It was a blessing that I didn’t go to the beach because I was able to talk to my Mother about my plans. Things that I wanted to do. You see, I can say that my future is not well planned. Everything changed when I was not able to go to Med school. When I was still in college, I didn’t bother having plan B in case I would not be able to attend Med school. I was so sure then that I would be a successful ob gynecologist. Maybe it’s not really for me. I was so lost when I was told that I can not go to Med school because of financial issues at home. My big brother was willing to help me but even before I graduated, he got married.

I ranted to my Mom (bad, bad). I cried (big time). I told her that I am not happy anymore with what I am doing. I wanted to go back to school. Not to med school but at least finish my Masters and if I could have PhD then that would be better. I can always go back to school but the problem is that I would have to look for a day job. I had a chance to go back to school but because of an a-hole (excuse me po) I, again, had to change my plans but it was useless. I am not earning a lot here in my current job but compared to other jobs I can say that I am earning more. If I give up my job, I would give up the health benefits that I have here in our company and in fairness to them it is helping us a lot financially specially with my Mom’s condition. If I give up my job, money would be again an issue.

I told her I wanted to go back to what I used to do before. Social work Education. I would definitely not earn that much but I know that I would be fulfilled with what I will do. She said she will be supporting me in what ever my plans are. She would even help me look for a good organization where I could apply to (my mother’s a social worker). After talking to her, I felt better. I may not have gone to the beach to unload my burden but I was able to talk to the person who could understand me. To the person who knows how crazy I am but would still support me and love me.

Thanks Mother, I know you won’t be able to read this (nobody knows I’m blogging not even my best friend) but I still thank you. I love you…

Oh well, I can still go to the beach, nope, not to Boracay, I’d rather spend my time in Panglao Island than in Boracay where crowd is not too friendly. Beep beep sorry po sa mga tambay ng Boracay. hehe


Abou said...

wow panglao. he he

SundaloNiyoAko said...

hmmm..goodluck..kaya mo ur dream..pag di mo na kaya pahiramin kita ng 6x6 truck..ok ba?

Maldito said...

no one can stop you if you really wanted to have it..go for it..pareho lang tayu..i thought i cant go to college when my paps died since kuya ko got married when i was in high school...but i was preparing myself for another course na..and that is interipr designing....hope ur mom and mt tita get well with thoae bullshit cancers..I pray for your mom as well..

Abaniko said...

I hope you'll get what you want. Just work on it and stay focused. Good luck! I pray for your mom's fast recovery as well.

dr_clairebear said...

hi! got here through abaniko's site.

two things i want to share, from one lost person to another:

when God says no, it usually means He has something much better in store for you. and second - God usually operates on God-time and not Me-time.

so hang in there, and figure out what you really want for now and for the future - and include God in your planning. what turns out might not be exactly what you want but if may be exactly what you need to make you happy.

good luck and God bless! :)