Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
At dahil sadyang paki alamera ako, mega click ako ng mga links ng mga asa favorites ko. Mga kwento ng pag ibig...
Ang selfish ko nga eh kasi feeling ko ako lang ang laging nasasaktan. Feeling ko ako lang ang iniiwan. Hindi pala, somewhere out there, someone also feels like the way I do. Someone is also trying to get over someone whom they loved so much.
Naiingit ako minsan sa mga relation na sobrang tagal na. Sa mga relationships na perfect. Pero sa likod pala ng perfect na relationship na yun eh mga sakitan at sobrang sakripisyo sa end ng isa sa kanila. Kailangan i sacrifice ang sariling hapiness and freedom para mapasaya ang pamilya. Kailangang itago ang totoong identity para matanggap ng karelasyon. Kailangan ibaba ng husto ang dignity para lang mahalin ng taong mahal nila. Ang weird no? Kung sinong mahal mo meron mahal na iba at ewan ba kung bakit di mo magawang mahalin yung taong mahal ka naman.
Bilib ako sa mga taong kayang panindigan yung mga taong mahal nila. Yung mga willing isacrifice ang "mana" (hehe telenovela) nila to be with someone whom they really love. Sa mga taong kahit deformed na yung itsura ng kasama nila eh proud pa rin sila. Sa mga taong tanggap nila kung ano and kung anong meron yung taong mahal nila.
Probably its natural for us humans to force ourselves to forget our past thinking that it would change our future but we can't deny the fact that our past is a part of who we are today. Our past is the reason why our future is better. For me, my past made me who I am today. People who have hurt me made me stronger, helped me grow and made me realize that happiness is something that I can have with out them... So, whether I like it or not, olrac, taekwondo black belt, mr. banker, atty lawyer and donald duck are part of me even if they suck (teehee bitter!) ;)
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein
Today, I have decided to change. I felt like I was always in the dark, I hated everyone for leaving me in the dark. I felt like I was walking along a dark alley alone. I was wrong. My eyes were closed all along because I was scared. I was scared of seeing the real world. I was scared of failure. I was scared of seeing something that I cannot handle.
Today, I have decided to change. To change for good.
Note: I know it doesn’t make sense. This was something that I wrote when I was in college. Found it in my Biochemistry notebook. :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Nakuha na ng nanay ko yung result ng CTSCAN niya. lumaki daw yung mass sa liver niya hopefuly, maagapan uli yun. my mother had therapy last year for lung cancer, lumaban siya at ngayon eh nagtuturo na uli siya sa university dito sa amin. idol ko ang nanay ko dahil magisa niya kaming pinalaki ng kuya ko. maliban samin meron pa siyang pinag aaral na mga kamag anak at mga taong di ko kilala. maraming taong natulungan ang nanay ko at nung kami naman ang nangailangan ng tulong, maraming sumuporta sa amin. ngayong nag spread sa liver niya yung cancer cells, panibagong challenge uli ito sa amin... i know everything will be fine...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
" coachie, drink salabat" yan ang banat sakin nung isang rep ko dahil nahihirapan siyang intindihin ako habang kinakausap ko siya. ayun try ko nga salabat pag uwi ko and yehey, uuwi ako ng baguio tomorrow ang saya saya naman, sana lang wag masyadong maginaw baka lalo akong ubuhin.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
sheila - she is giving birth to their first baby (after 10 years- literally 10 years...) at the end of the month. she does not always get absent even if she is pregnant. she has been consistent in meeting her metrics.
meng - married but is not living with his wife and baby. he does'nt want to share his love story because he doesnt want to cry.
maui - still inlove with her ex who owes her a lot of money.
joel - was always out. missed a lot of fun because he was always on the phone with his baby.
jay - took care of every one, she is also very much inlove with her girlfriend and she is very very loyal to her.
grace - did not join the team building because it is an over night activity and her mom did not allow her to join us. she is one of the team's top performers.
gene - she is also pregnant but unlike shiela, she is always absent. she was absent for the 1st two weeks of January 2008.
Fati - has personal issues, hates her mom so much. she is always getting sick and she is always absent. she is friends with aaron.
chris - best dancer ever. teehee. he danced all night and when he saw his video, he wanted to kill himself
brett - he is a black belter. he is also always getting sick. he is friends with fati, aaron and bobzie.
bobzie - claims that his real father is chinese but he grew up with a japanese dad, said that he sleeps in a coffin and that he is married to a canadian girl that nobody has seen. he also hates his mom. he is friends with fati.
alex - new member of the team. said that he was in networking business before. i guess he is not yet used to working for somebody else since he is always getting absent. he is only with the team for a month and he already got a memo for his attendance.
Aaron - he was never absent since he joined the company. he is also married but is not living with his wife and kid. his wife was asking me last time though if he joined our team building. (hmmm..?!)
Van - kikay of the team. I've never expected that behind her kakikayan, she also has a cowboy side. she, like me, has also a telenovela love story.
batman - hopeless romantic. he is still in love with his team mate and he is still i guess trying to get over her. :)
Sunday, January 6, 2008
oo, totoo, mejo ok ang kita ako ngayon pero hindi na talaga ako masaya. hindi ko alam kung anong problema ko. hindi ko alam kung saan ako patutungo. hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin kong next sa buhay ko. lagi na lang ganito, pag meron akong plan na hindi nag wowork, na didisorient ako at dun ako nag sisimulang madepress. baliw kaya ako? o sadyang di lang ako nakukuntento sa meron ako. am i always asking for more? work ko nga ba ang problema ko? love life kaya? hindi ko alam... sabi ko nga, i am still on the process of moving on, of forgetting the person whom i loved and trusted so much. saglit lang naman kami pero bakit sobrang hurt ako, di ko rin yun maintindihan. family kaya? i'm sure hindi kasi nanjan naman lagi mama ko at mga pinsan ko para umalalay sakin everytime i fall. galit lang kaya ako sa mundo? hindi ko rin alam... i am already old and i am still confused. i don't know where to go. i don't know what to do. matanda na ako para sa ganitong bagay pero promise, naguguluhan talaga ako. siguro spiritually kulang din ako kaya ganito... diko talaga alam... bahala na... nakakapagod ng tumakbo pero kung yung ang kelangan kong gawin para ma solve ang problema ko na diko naman alam kung ano pero yun ang gagawin ko...tumakbo, magtago at patuloy kong hahanapin kong sino at ano nga ba ako.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Moi: Ah talga? Anong sinabi niya?
Gem: Wala greet lang, dinedma ko nga. Pagkatapos ng ginawa niya sakin?!
Moi: Oh bakit parang galit ka pa rin? Bitter? He he, Kala ko ba nakapag move on ka na?
Gem: Girl, naman, nakapag move on na ako pero iba ang moving on tsaka getting over some one…
Moi: ah ok.. ganun ba yun? Hehe sorry ha di ko lam eh
Gem: Moving on eh eh yung nakapag move on ka pero meron pa rin ikaw nafifeel. Yung getting over eh yung totally na wala na siya. Nada! Nothing! Lam mo yun?
Moi: ah ok…
I have been thinking ‘bout what he told me and it makes sense. I have already moved on but I’m still on the process of getting over him. Pathetic isn’t it?