Sunday, July 6, 2008

paranoia




i have been paranoid. i learned my lesson big time. i am not really sure if i should be happy or not.
i had unprotected contact with my "friend" and i learned that he had "something". i immediately went to the doctor to have my self checked. i'm fine. i don't have anything. yes. i am safe but i also learned that i might not be able to have a baby. the ob saw something in my left ovary that is not normal.



my greatest fear is to die alone. i am afraid of growing old alone, dying alone in my room, people would not even know that i am dead and by the time somebody finds out, i will be rotting on my bed.
don't get me wrong, i have a lot of friends, loyal and trusted friends, i have my family -- and if i say family that would be my mom and my relatives. i have seen them stand by me when i was so down. i know that they care and that they love me. i love them too. my family and friends. i also know that nothing lasts forever.
i know am not making sense... it's just that it seems like i would have to face my greatest fear...











5 comments:

Maldito said...

kawawa ka naman...so meaning kawawa din ako?dahil ganyan din ang fear ko...hu hu hu...ang mamatay sa kwarto ng mag isa...sana naman may maakakita sakeng body mga hours after lang..ahahhahaa...

bahala na si God..mag ingat ka sa susuynod hap! patay ka saken pag mauut pa yan...learned from our mistakes nalang..

cioa!ang haba neto!syetness..

gasti said...

ayan muntikan ka na...pero hindi naman kita masisi kasi baka nadala ka rin nung friend mo..anyways doble ingat ka na ngyon yung fear mo na sinasabi eh wag mo na masyado isipin...masaya naman maging single eh!

napaisip ako dun sa sakit ah 2 lang naman naisip ko na pwede..buti na lang talaga di ka nakakuha ng "something".

coldman said...

hope you're okay now.

konting ingat lang. =)

FerBert said...

i don't wanna die alone..
i want my love ones to be there..
but the truth is i dont wanna be alone.. i inflict pain when i'm alone..

anyway i hope your okay.. :D

kingdaddyrich said...

face your fears and you will be liberated.

:)