joke time- la lang

maraming kung anu anong jokes sa mga call centers. yung iba gawa gawang kwento lang. yung iba totoo naman.
experience daw ng reps ko sa ibang call center. malamang yung iba sila din may gawa.
enjoy!

only in our company these stupid things happen...

customer: (shouting) i want
to talk to your
supervisor!!now!!
Agent: wait! teka lang... no shouting..

scene II

Agent: sir, i need you to close all the
windows in your computer

Cust: ok just hold on a sec.. (puts the
agent on hold)

Agent: (hears loud sounds wondering
what is happening..)

Customer: ok i have closed all the windows in the room but
don't expect me to close the one in the
bathroom..now what are we going to do with this
computer??

Agent: fainted.. (WTF)

scene III

customer: I want to speak to your supervisor rigth now...

agent: (Sees his supervisor) oh i do apologize my supervisor
just passed away..(meaning: kakadaan lang)
customer: oh, im sorry to hear that...
agent: that's ok ma'am but don't you worry she will
comeback..

scene IV

customer: i want to talk to the highest person in your
company..
agent: ok sir i will get a hold of my supervisor..
customer: no the highest highest person in your company..
agent: (irate)ok please hold while i transfer your call to god...

scene V:

agent: thank you for calling ______ may i have your phone
number starting with area code?
customer: what you don't know me?
agent: i need your phone number so i can pull up your
records..
customer: you really don't know me??
agent: i'm afraid not because i cannot pull up your record..
customer: all of the people know me...
agent: God is that you???


scene VI

the customer called in trying to fix his satellite (Dish). customer does not want to call a technician so he decided to fix it by himself.. and here how the story goes....

Cust: ok i will just go up on the roof to fix my satellite..
Agent: ok sir just go ahead...(agent is sleepy and takes a
nap)
Customer: ok im done moving it so.what am i going to do can
i turn it on now??
Agent:(still sleepy) Ok sir, pakilagay na lang po ung gata sa
may kaldero...

Scene VII

this happened during our rookie days in sprint...

Cust: i need to talk to your supervisor now!!(irate)
Agent: ok ill get a hold of my supervisor.. (puts the cust on
hold)
after five minutes...

Agent:ma'am i will be needing another 5 more minutes of
your time to get my supervisor..
Cust: i don't care whatever just give me your supervisor!!!

Agent: still unable to find any supervisor decided to take the
matter by himself..
Agent: Guess what ma'am, i just got promoted how may i
help you today??(yan ang diskarte)

Scene VIII

Agent: thank you for calling (company name) may i have
your phone number beginning with area code?
Cust: 770#######
Agent: may i have your name?
Cust: John Smith(screen name)
Agent: how about your email adress and your zip code??
Cust: hey, wait up why are you asking all of these
information???
Agent: because we are like FBI we need to know everything..

Scene IX

Cust: where are you located???
Agent: we are located in the Philippines..
Cust: i need to talk to someone that lives in america, speaks
american english pays american taxes...
Agent: checks if the coast is clear..
Agent: ok so you want to talk to someone that lives in
america speaks american language and pays american
taxes.
Cust: Yes!
Agent: ok why don't you talk to yourself...(released the call)

Scene X

Cust: i need to speak to the highest person in your company.
Agent: hold on for a second i will give you my supervisor..
Cust: no you don't understande me.. i want to speak to the
highest person in your company...
Agent: ok then talk to yao ming!! (released the call)