busy

daming nangyayari... sobrang busy.. affected kami sa crisis. pasko pa naman. tsk! kwento ako pag naka vacay na

merry christmas every one, happy new year too!! :)

mwah!

monster

nagpunta nung week end sa cebu ang mga lalake. ayaw kaming isama.

si mr banker, na confused kung ano ba talaga siya.

si mr banker (2), adopted na ng frat kuno. officemate ni mr banker.

si dal, college friend nila.

si mr treasurer, brod din na me asawa na na pasaway din. feeling namin kinacareer din siya ni mr banker. sa cityhall nag wowork.

si nlj, brod na asawa ng friend ko at pinaghihinalaan naming boyfriend ni mr banker. (joke lang namin ng mrs nlj yun pero jokes are half meant hahaha)

actually, wala naman akong paki alam kung me ginawa silang kung anu man sa cebu. concerned lang talaga ako ke mrs nlj, friend ko. matagal ng issue ang babae sa relationship nila. nakita ko kung pano umiyak si mrs nlj dahil sa loob ng four years na kasal sila ni nlj eh hindi niya kilala ang asawa niya. hindi niya alam na nagkaroon ng gonorrhea si nlj dahil sa hilig nito. hindi ko rin naman nakwento sa kanya dahil akala ko alam niya. at tsaka hindi na yun dapat pinag uusapan sa labas.

unang issue nila si emma, ang babae ng bayan. pinagpasapasahan nila ang girl na to. hindi ko alam kung sino dapat ang sisisihin, ang mga boys na sinasamantala ang situation emma or si emma na nagpapakatanga at pumapayag na babuyin siya ng mga lalakeng yun. nalagpasan nila yun, hindi pinatulan ni mrs nlj.

second issue, si yani. bagong pasok siya sa sorority nun. school mate ni mr banker and nlj nung elementary. maganda rin si yani, malaki boobs kaya lahat ng manyakis napapatingin sa kanya, talented-magaling kumanta. hindi na sana namin malalaman ang tungkol sa kanila ni nlj pero nag lakas loob itong si yani na siraan si mrs nlj. siya pa ang may guts awayin si mrs nlj. lahat ng mura natanggap ni mrs nlj from her. malaking gulo ito sa fraternity-sorority. pati ako nadamay dahil kaibigan ko si mrs nlj. lahat sila kampi kay yani. ako, walang paki alam kung aawayin nila ako. dun ko nadiscover na plastic lahat ng nakapaligid sa akin. nalaman ko kung sinong totoong kaibigan. tumahimik din sa wakas. nanahimik lahat ng tao. nag karoon ng gap pero tahimik na.

third issue at latest, cebu girls. di na uli sana malalaman ito pero tanga talaga si nlj. hindi niya binura lahat ng text messages nila nung nasa cebu sila. nabasa ni mrs nlj na sabay sabay silang nag check in kasama ang mga babae. pati mga description ng kababayun nila nasa text. hindi ko alam kung pano ako mag rereact nung kinukwento niya yun sakin. lumabas na lang siya ng bahay at iniwan ang wedding ring nila. nag text na lang siya sa asawa niya, baka mapatay daw niya kung kausapin pa niya ng maayos. ang hindi ko pa matake ay ang reply ni nlj - naive daw si mrs nlj. lahat daw ginagawa yun for fun. hahaha. naive na kung naive pero sa tingin ko kung may respeto siya sa asawa niya di niya yun gagawin. naloka ako dahil pati si mr treasurer at si mr banker/2 eh puro pambababoy ang ginawa doon.

siguro adventure para sa kanila yung kakaibang sexcapades pero hindi na nila nirespeto pati yung mga prostitute na yun. kahit papano, tao pa rin sila na may pakiramdam and kahit konti dapat nirerespeto pa rin sila bilang tao. hindi nila naisip na may mga nanay sila at mga kapatid na babae. ewan ko ba kung bakit ganun. diko matake talaga yung mga ginawa nila. at proud pa sila na puro gasgas yung mga girls na yun. all i can tell mrs nlj is to pray for enlightenment and guidance in her decisions. hirap.

basta mga monsters sila. they don't know how to respect women, then they don't deserve even a bit of my respect. damn them. syet silang lahat. monsters!

ading

nasubukan niyo na ba yung sobrang bored kayo at naisipan niyong igoogle yung name niyo? well, ako lagi kong ginagawa yun. chini check ko lang naman kung may kapareho ako ng pangalan. hahaha. anyway, wala akong nakitang kapangalan ko pero nakita ko yung profile ng half brother ko. ahaha. isipin mo yun. tagal ko na siyang di nakikita. nung huling nakita ko siya, kasama siya ng daddy ko nung nag lunch kami. medyo mataba pa siya nun. nung bata pa kasi yun, mataba na talaga siya. one week akong nag stay sa bahay nila nung grade 4 ako dahil lumayas ako sa bahay. wala namang pang aaping nangyari dahil in fairness inasikaso naman ako noon. bading din yung step brother ko kaya medyo kasundo ko siya.

natuwa lang naman ako dahil i did not expect na makikita ko siya, second year college na pala ang batang yun. honga pala na kuwento din ng daddy ko yun sa kin. parang ang sakit lang sa akin na lumaki siya na kasama daddy ko samantalang ako, 3 years old pa lang ako wala na akong tinatawag na daddy. anyway, ganon talaga ang buhay. deadmatology na lang.


palmer, ading ko, mag aral ka ng mabuti ha. our daddy is so proud of you. lagi niyang kinukwento na ayaw mo nung uniform niyo kasi nahihiya ka. lagi daw malaki bag mo pag labas ng bahay dahil sa school ka na lang mag bibihis. gayahin mo ako, wala akong inulit na subject nung college. at dapat 3 and 1/2 years ko lang kukunin ang course ko pero pasaway yung isang instrcutor, ayaw akong pag bigyan. hehe. at wala din akong na drop na classcard ni isa. i know that byron naman is working really really hard for you. sana lang yung mga family natin di ma subukan yung naranasan natin. nag shashare ng daddy, i know that habang lumalaki ka na rerealize mo din kung anong nangyayari. basta take care of your mother and our daddy. they are both sick so don't give them sakit ng ulo. if you need help nandito lang ako and kris, our manong. we maybe not close but we are still family. i love you brother.

:(

bakit hindi ko maiwan ang nakaraan? bakit hirap akong harapin ang ngayon? bakit natatakot akong makita ang bukas? paano ako mabubuhay kung punong puno ng galit ang puso ko? paano ako magmamahal muli kung sarado at naging bato na ang puso ko? gustuhin ko mang baguhin ang lahat, hindi ko kaya. ngayon pa lang sumusuko na ako. hirap na hirap na ako sa pakikipag laban. sukang suka na ako sa kompetensya. ayoko ng mag isip. suko nako... bahala na...

the end

There is no “they lived happily ever after”. There is just “the end”.

Believing in “they lived happily ever after” is bull crap. We have to be realistic, hello? Life is no Snow White or Cinderella.

I now know that I am not bitter. I am just real.

Damn!

what if

what will you do if you learned that the man that you love most is in love with his best friend who happens to be your brod?

tsk! kaya pala... he has been confused all along...

well, i guess, telenovelas are real… sucks!

discrimination

missed my family and friends. i went home to baguio and spent my rest days with them.

my mom asked me to get something from capitol so i went there in the afternoon of friday. i did'nt know that i would be spending half day of my life going back from dswd's office to the treasurer’s office and to another office that they call cash. i was so pissed off because they keep on asking me to go back from one office to another. an old lady was also doing something there and just like me they asked her to go up and down the building to have someone sign the papers that we need. the old lady is also disabled. the thing is that, capitol is not a disable friendly building. it does not have ramp for people who are on crutches or wheelchairs. it is an old building so i don't expect elevators and escalators in it. i guess they need to do something about it. i tried helping the lady out but the officers who need to sign her papers should see her personally. so she had to go up and down that building. people there are also not so friendly, some, people that my mom knows, were friendly to me but i guess they just have to because they know who my mother is but they were not too friendly to the disabled lady.

when i went home, i told my mom about everything and she even got worried that i might have been bitchy when i was talking to people there. i asked her to raise this issue to the local government, maybe they are not aware. i am paying my taxes so i think i have the right to demand.

****
text messaging

mr banker : dinner?
sexymoi : sorry, i'm busy...
mr banker : cge na lapit na bday ko. my treat.
sexymoi : sensya na busy talaga eh... next time :)
mr banker : k, nxt time :(

hahahaha... i am so so proud of myself. buti nga ...

man's heart

I haven’t read or watched Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner but after reading A Thousand Splendid Suns I have decided to buy a copy of The Kite Runner, which would be my Christmas present to myself.

I am not really a book critic (what ever that means) but I really appreciated this novel. Unlike the other books that I have read, A Thousand Splendid Suns is so different I was totally moved.

I hated Rasheed for beating his wives Mariam and Laila. For paying someone to tell Laila that Tariq is already dead. I felt bad for Mariam for being rejected by Jalil and literally giving her off to Rasheed to save face. I loved Mullah Faizullah for teaching Mariam things that she should learn at school. For being a real father to Mariam. Tariq and Laila’s love story proved that there is indeed true love. Mariam may have felt like she is dumb and useless but at the end, the reader would realize that she made a difference in Laila, Tariq, Aziza and Zalmai’s lives.

I want to write a lot of things about this book but I my thoughts are not organized plus I’m not really good in describing what I want to say. Haha. Here’s a quote that I really liked.

Let me tell you something.A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing, Miriam.It isn't like a mother's womb.It won't bleed, it won't stretch to make room for you. – Nana to Mariam – A Thousand Splendid Suns

Bitter ko no? haha

lab layp

How would we define love? According to wikipedia Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

So there’s a lot of definition for love. But why do we love something or someone? Why would some people die for others? Why would we spend a lot of money for something that “we love”?

One of my officemates tried to commit suicide because her boyfriend (should I say ex boyfriend) broke up with her. I may not understand it but I guess she has her reasons for not wanting to let go.

I’m trying to understand what I’m going through right now. I don’t understand why I cannot let of someone who cannot be with me. Ok, I am crazy, that I am very very sure but I can’t really figure out why I still want to be with Mr. Banker. We have been seeing each other these past few months but we definitely do not have commitment. Mr. Banker is my ex boyfriend but since we have the same circle of friends we see each other a lot and we always go out and we spend a lot of time together. Sh*t, I know I am such a bitch and this is what I hate about it. This feeling, the feeling of falling for him again. We are both not committed to other people but we know that it can never be us. I should learn how to control this feeling; I cannot stop seeing him because if I do that, it means not seeing our friends. I love my friends, next to my family of course.

This is what is causing my depression lately. My love life is such a failure. I know its pathetic. I thought I am so over him but I am so wrong.

to all

Hindi ako naka uwi for All Soul’s day. Tumawag lang ako sa mama ko at nasabi ko na di ako makakauwi. She told me to just pray at home and make sure not to lamyerda. Mapamahiin ang mama ko.



Sa lolo ko na matagal din nag kasakit before joining the Lord, amok ada ka heaven ken tultulungam da mama ang auntie tita and us to overcome all the obstacles and challenges that we are facing now.

Sa lola ko na nag alaga sa daddy ko and kuya ko, I love you granny, manang ling ling has two kids already and her husband is such a jerk. Imbag ta han mo suna naabutan dahil makokonsumisyon ka lang.

Kay Eryl, bata ka pa pero am sure na enjoy mo yung life mo dito. Mag kakaroon ng Grill Party on December 30 sa Baguio, sort of re union natin.

Kay Len, friend, kung san ka man sorry hindi man lang kita nadalaw. Alam ko happy ka na rin.

Sis Elvie, alam ko nagkaroon tayo ng issues at nasabi nga ni Arnold na gusto mong magka ayos na tayong lahat. Ayos na sis, wala na masyadong issue pero aminado ako, me gap pa rin kami. Walang ng gulo. Tahimik na.

Brod Boy, na mimiss ka na namin. Wala ng brod na nagbibigay ng advise sa mga bata. Nakasama ko pala si Jobert minsan sa isang jug. Ang kulit niya. Haha. Bagong survive lang siya nung me gimik kami. Lagi kong pinipisil hita niya, haha, Wag ka magagalit sakin brod ha?

Sa iba pang relatives ko ang friends ko. Kung nasaan man kayo am sure happy kayo.

Love ko kayo.

hum hum

was not able to go to cam sur... ralph is busy and so am i. lucky me i was able to go to the beach though.

was able to unwind...

was able to get drunk...

and was able to get over my depression and watch the sun set knowing that tomorrow will be another day and i know that it will be beautiful...

blank

there are a lot of things going on… a lot of things to think about…

ang pagbabalik

I’ve abandoned my beloved blog for days. Excuse me, that’s weeks. I’ve been very busy with work and other extra curricular activities. Hee hee.

Anyway, here are some updates from Sexy Moi.

I went home to Baguio to celebrate my birth day. I did not go out with friends. We only had dinner at home. It is also in time for my brother’s despedida. I was not able to have my braces adjusted. I had to go to some government offices to have something fixed.

I had lunch with my dad (biological) because he needs assistance in buying all his medicines. He is still my dad and it is still my responsibility to help him. My brother and I buy him meds and help him on his hospital bills. I feel good that there is no bitterness in our relationship even if he left us when we were still young. I felt bad last time though because I don’t think he remembers my birthday. He did not greet me. At all.

“When your dad was still strong, he worked hard for his second family. He did not support us in anyway. He did not even bother to check you and your brother after the earthquake. Now that he is sick and cannot work, his second family seems to abandon him. They are not helping him financially. That’s not fair for you and your manong.” –-- mama to sexy moi


Our client came here for a site visit and of course we had to impress her. We had to prep our reps and we also prepared for the business review so we can convince her to bring more jobs here and piss off more Americans (because according to them we are stealing their jobs, well, I guess that’s true). I’m not sure though if we did a great job convincing her because we haven’t heard any feedback from her since she left. She went to Cebu afterwards for a long vacation with her hubby. Nampucha petix din pala sila. Isipin mo, she was supposed to be in our site for 3 days pero 2 araw lang siya nandito kasi daw bibisita pa ng Cebu. Haha.

“breakfast buffet in Shangrila is great” --- client to us, this was while we were having our business review.

I went to a not so famous salon and had my hair colored slash dyed. I am not really into hair coloring but my very convincing cousin convinced me to. I nearly killed her after because of what happened to my hair. I wasted money and time. Damn!

“wow bagay na bagay mo ha” --- salon girl to sexy moi
“ate, wag mo na ko bolahin,buti na lang wala ako sa mood mang away ngayon” --- sexy moi to salon girl


It’s almost the 6th month of my reps so I had to do their review. I had to let go of one though. She is still studying and I guess she cannot manage her time very well that is why she is always absent. We had our admin hearing last Tuesday. We will know the results of the deliberation on Friday.

“You’re still young, you better focus on your studies. You can always look for a job after graduation.” --- sexy moi to pasaway agent.


I went to the last day of BarOps to support my friends. Only my Manila based friends were able attend to support our friends who took the exams. After the exams they all drank to death.

“brod, dapat pumasa kan hanko kayat ang bar ops no next year manen” --- friend to one of our friends who took the exam twice

There was a time that I took an escalation from my agent. The customer wanted to talk to some one in the US when he learned that I am from the Philippines. I advised the customer that there are no sites located in the US (which is true – 2 sites lang, here and Canada); therefore he cannot be transferred to the US. Nainsecure ang lolo niyo. Nagalit dahil wala daw siya trabaho. I was able to answer all his questions.

“thank you… and by the way FU*K the Philippines” --- a-hole customer to sexy moi before hanging up.
“go ahead” --- sexy moi to the customer

Huhuhu… gusto ko rin pala mag sumbong. Yung pasaway kong boss ang pangit lagi ng schedule na binibigay sakin. Last time sa isang lingo napunta sakin lahat ng shift – opening, mid shift and closing. I’m not her favorite kasi eh. Tapos yung kasama kong TL din lagi pang absent.

“I guess I’m not one of your favorite things…”--- sexy moi to boss


Good news for me. Ralph is inviting me to Camsur. I hope I can go there at the end of the month. Sana walang bagyo.

na padaan

napadaan lang... sobrang busy... no time to relax, no time for my self, no time for time, no time to breath. i'll be back.

manhid

According to wikipedia, Stonefish live primarily above the tropic of Capricorn: It is the most widespread species of the stonefishes family, and is known to be found in the shallow tropical marine waters of the Pacific and Indian oceans, ranging from the Red Sea to the Queensland Great Barrier Reef. The average length of most stonefish is about 30-40 centimeters. The largest Stonefish ever recorded was 51 centimeters long. It has a mottled greenish to mostly brown colour which aids in its ability to camouflage itself among the rocks of many of the tropical reefs. It eats mostly small fish, shrimp and other crustaceans. Its main habitat is on coral reefs, around dull coloured plants, near and about rocks, or can be found dormant in the mud or sand.

From my observation, these fishes have problems of their own and that is why they look so grumpy. Well, I don't want to look like them so i smile all the time. :)

birthday rant

yep... lapit na talaga birthday ko. lapit na ang september 11. opo. yan ang birthday ko. ang makasaysayang 9/11. pero hindi ako mag rarant tungkol sa bombing.

napaisip lang ako. ano bang meron ang age? bakit ayokong ipag sabi kung ilang taon na ako. kahit sa mga hindi ko kakilala nahihiya ako. ang naisip ko lang na reason ay dahil at my age wala pa akong na a-achieve at nahihiya ako dahil yung mga ka age ko feeling ko sobrang nakuha na nila yung gusto nile. ano nga ba ang gusto ko? yan ang diko masagot hangang ngayon. feeling ko natural sa mga tao ang hindi contented sa kung anong meron sila. we will always look for more. mas malaking bahay. mas bagong kotse. mas malaking sweldo. mas mataas na posisyon sa work. mas maraming pera. mas maraming tatak sa passport. kelan kaya tayo makukontento sa kung anong meron.

sabi nila yung mga namamatay ay masaya na sa kung saan man sila naroroon. masaya kaya sila dahil na achieve nila yung gusto nila bago sila namatay or masaya sila dahil hindi na sila mag hahangad pa ng kung anung meron na sila?

home

mejo magiging busy ko... unfortunately di muna ko makakapagrant at makakapamasyal sa blog world. basta i'll also take this time to reflect uli. lapit na birthday ko.

change schedule

pang araw na uli ako. hindi ako morning person kaya mukhang mahihirapan ako sa bagong shift ko. hay... sana wag ako malate hehe. kakatamad gumising ng maaga.

la lang... wala lang ko magawa. 7 days straight na ko nag wowork. nagpapaka martyr.. di joke lang. nag papa goodshot lang para makapag leave ng mahaba.

kakalungkot

anong nangyayari sa mundo? lahat ng tao nawawala... ang pag bloblog ang isang way para malabas ko ang hinanakit ko sa mundo. ito rin ang way ko para hindi mabore. ito rin ang way ko para maka kuha ng lessons. believe it or not, lahat ng binabasa ko meron at meron akong natututunan. kung gaano kaganda ng buhay. na lahat ng barriers ay kaya nating i overcome. nalulungkot lang ako dahil unti unting nawawala ang mga tao.

sayang lang... pero kung asan man sila ngayon, i'm sure happy sila.

nagmamaganda

yung nagfeefeeling kong rep, si Val, feeling ata eh jowa ko siya... aba naman lahat ng pinupuntahan ko eh kelangan niyang malaman. ay sorry naman! di ako ganun no. diko siya type at sabi ko nga di kami talo! bad trip lang kasi talaga dahil kahit sa office pasaway na.

minsan talaga may mga taong pag ibinigay mo braso mo gusto nila buong kamay kukunin nila. hindi sa nagpapaka feeling din ako pero mabait ako sa mga reps ko. basta sumusunod sila sa policies ng companya ok ako dun. di ako naninigaw unlike yung ibang mga TL dito. duh!!! hindi naman to school no na nakukuha sa pasigawsigaw ang mga tao. nirerespeto ko rin ang lahat ng mga tao sa paligid ko. bad trip lang talaga ako pag ikaw eh pinagtatanggol ko na sa mga boss eh magpapaka kupal ka pa na magpapakapasaway. hay. badtrip talaga...

ayan nag rarant nanaman ako... la lang bad trip lang talaga ako sa Val na yon. syet!

team ko!

my new team
i think i mentioned that i am now handling a different team. masaya naman sila kasama. masaya sa trabaho. hindi lahat pasaway. utang na loob naman sana wag tumigas ang mga ulo nila.

EJ- siya na siguro ang pinaka "slow" sa kanilang lahat. sorry pero masaya siyang kasama as a person pero sa trabaho ewan ko lang. nabagok daw kasi siya sa motor accident at second life daw niya to. nabuntis niya girlfriend niya kaya windang siya ngayon. ayaw daw niya ng baby.

Joseph-pinakamatanda sa team. proud sa family niya. 8 years ang gap nila ng wife niya. 16 years old yung wife niya nung may nangyari daw sa kanila. nung time na yun, uso ang demandahan dahil sa menor de edad na nakikipag chuva sa over 18. kumusta naman diba.

Tyke-Six Sigma greenbelt. Ewan ko kung bakit nag apply na agent dito sa company. 3 daw ang asawa. isang asa Davao, isang overseas at yung kasama niya dito. pag nakita niyo siya sasabihin niyong nag jujoke lang siya pag sinabi niyang 3 asawa niya. hehe

Winwin- Working student. computer savvy. chinese. bata pa. makulit. ang unang tanong niya sakin -- "coach, may boyfriend ka?" cute daw sabi ng bading namin na office mate. o sige na nga...

Ocho-mahilig magbasa ng book. sobrang payat pero malakas kumain. mahilig din sa mga statement shirts. siya daw si achmed (puppet ni jeff dunham).magaling din. at yung mga jokes na nasa baba, isa siya sa may pakana nun.

Jeremy-bitter bitteran. first time mag work sa call center. sa Qatar siya dati work. manager ng isang store doon daw. pinili niyang umuwi ng pilipinas dahil hiniwalayan siya ng wife niya. at maliit daw ang Qatar baka mapatay niya yung lalake... at yung ex wife niya.laging umiiyak pag anak niya ang pinag uusapan. imagine niyo, mukhang addict na lalake, may tattoo tapos umi iyak.

JM-under daw according to his team mates. kaya daw laging antok sa office dahil pag uwi niya ng bahay siya pa mag aasikaso ng anak niya. maglalaba pa at magluluto pa for the family. laging nag mumura sa calls pero bago umuwi eto ang lagi niyang sinasabi sakin "coach, i'll go home na. god bless."

Val-breadwinner ng family niya. psych grad. nag turo na pero mas malaki daw kita sa callcenter. siya ang sumusuporta sa nanay, tatay, ate na may asawa and anak, ate na tinakbuhan ng pera at pinsan niya. siya ang bunso nila. nanliligaw sakin. bwahahaha. sabi ko, "sorry darling, di tayo talo."

Foi-may sister- in -law na namatay sa cancer. biglaan. di na diagnose kaagad. hindi na raw siya masyadong pumupunta ng church mula nung nilibing yung sister in law niya. close daw sila. ka age ko siya kaya kasundo ko.

Bhabs-nag work as a receptionist sa china. inayawan niya yung mga boss niya dun kasi daw kakaiba. bata pa pero ang laking bulas. 5'6". maganda. love team daw ni EJ sa team.

Jinky-nalunod ang sister sa ilocos na siya ang kasama. nung una daw feeling niya siya ang may kasalanan dahil naging irresponsible siya. feeling niya rin siya ang sinisisi. ok na siya ngayon. pero naiiyak pa rin pag nag kukuwento siya.

Gel-may kapatid na me bipolar disorder (tama ba yun?). sobrang responsible. nakikita ko sa kanya na nag tatrabaho siya ng husto para mabigyan ng appropriate na medication yung sister niya. bata pa siya. di niya natapos pag aaral para mag trabaho.

Ice- working student din. pero gusto lang niyang mag work for extra money. may boyfriend na officemate din namin. complicated daw yung relationship nila dahil may anak yung guy. ewan ko ba. minsan talaga nakakatanga ang pag ibig. haha.

Ghie-isa rin siya sa mga mejo me edad na sa team pero grabe ang energy niya. masayahing tao. mahilig sa green jokes. 15 years old na daw yung anak niya kaya pinapabaunan niya ng condom. haha. 10 years siya sa dating work niya pero nag sara yung company kasi kelangan ilipat sa malaysia kaya eto siya ngayon sa callcenter.

Reejay-bagong panganak ang asawa niya. blooming siya lately dahil jan. masayahing tao. cute nung baby niya promise. little reejay lang. family man.

Dom-tahimik sa grupo. may problema daw sa love life. sobrang mahal niya yung girlfriend niya laging nagpapapalit ng restday. laging nag tetext.


sila. sila ang lagi kong kasama sa office ngayon. may mga experience sila na nakakarelate ako. wish ko lang may magawa ako para sa kanila na ikababago ng kung ano man ang meron sila ngayon.

"Don't wait for time to heal. Time isn't a great healer-whoever said that hasn't lived. Time is time- it does nothing. It's God that does the healing." - Billy Evans (The Testimony of Taliesin Jones)

happy

ang saya ko lately... di ko alam kung bakit pero basta ang gaan gaan ng feeling ko. pag katapos kong mag paka paranoid. ok na uli ako. normal ba yun? ewan ko basta sa ngayon hangga't ganto nararamdaman ko eh ok lang.

joke time- la lang

maraming kung anu anong jokes sa mga call centers. yung iba gawa gawang kwento lang. yung iba totoo naman.
experience daw ng reps ko sa ibang call center. malamang yung iba sila din may gawa.
enjoy!

only in our company these stupid things happen...

customer: (shouting) i want
to talk to your
supervisor!!now!!
Agent: wait! teka lang... no shouting..

scene II

Agent: sir, i need you to close all the
windows in your computer

Cust: ok just hold on a sec.. (puts the
agent on hold)

Agent: (hears loud sounds wondering
what is happening..)

Customer: ok i have closed all the windows in the room but
don't expect me to close the one in the
bathroom..now what are we going to do with this
computer??

Agent: fainted.. (WTF)

scene III

customer: I want to speak to your supervisor rigth now...

agent: (Sees his supervisor) oh i do apologize my supervisor
just passed away..(meaning: kakadaan lang)
customer: oh, im sorry to hear that...
agent: that's ok ma'am but don't you worry she will
comeback..

scene IV

customer: i want to talk to the highest person in your
company..
agent: ok sir i will get a hold of my supervisor..
customer: no the highest highest person in your company..
agent: (irate)ok please hold while i transfer your call to god...

scene V:

agent: thank you for calling ______ may i have your phone
number starting with area code?
customer: what you don't know me?
agent: i need your phone number so i can pull up your
records..
customer: you really don't know me??
agent: i'm afraid not because i cannot pull up your record..
customer: all of the people know me...
agent: God is that you???


scene VI

the customer called in trying to fix his satellite (Dish). customer does not want to call a technician so he decided to fix it by himself.. and here how the story goes....

Cust: ok i will just go up on the roof to fix my satellite..
Agent: ok sir just go ahead...(agent is sleepy and takes a
nap)
Customer: ok im done moving it so.what am i going to do can
i turn it on now??
Agent:(still sleepy) Ok sir, pakilagay na lang po ung gata sa
may kaldero...

Scene VII

this happened during our rookie days in sprint...

Cust: i need to talk to your supervisor now!!(irate)
Agent: ok ill get a hold of my supervisor.. (puts the cust on
hold)
after five minutes...

Agent:ma'am i will be needing another 5 more minutes of
your time to get my supervisor..
Cust: i don't care whatever just give me your supervisor!!!

Agent: still unable to find any supervisor decided to take the
matter by himself..
Agent: Guess what ma'am, i just got promoted how may i
help you today??(yan ang diskarte)

Scene VIII

Agent: thank you for calling (company name) may i have
your phone number beginning with area code?
Cust: 770#######
Agent: may i have your name?
Cust: John Smith(screen name)
Agent: how about your email adress and your zip code??
Cust: hey, wait up why are you asking all of these
information???
Agent: because we are like FBI we need to know everything..

Scene IX

Cust: where are you located???
Agent: we are located in the Philippines..
Cust: i need to talk to someone that lives in america, speaks
american english pays american taxes...
Agent: checks if the coast is clear..
Agent: ok so you want to talk to someone that lives in
america speaks american language and pays american
taxes.
Cust: Yes!
Agent: ok why don't you talk to yourself...(released the call)

Scene X

Cust: i need to speak to the highest person in your company.
Agent: hold on for a second i will give you my supervisor..
Cust: no you don't understande me.. i want to speak to the
highest person in your company...
Agent: ok then talk to yao ming!! (released the call)

paranoia

i have been paranoid. i learned my lesson big time. i am not really sure if i should be happy or not.
i had unprotected contact with my "friend" and i learned that he had "something". i immediately went to the doctor to have my self checked. i'm fine. i don't have anything. yes. i am safe but i also learned that i might not be able to have a baby. the ob saw something in my left ovary that is not normal.

my greatest fear is to die alone. i am afraid of growing old alone, dying alone in my room, people would not even know that i am dead and by the time somebody finds out, i will be rotting on my bed.
don't get me wrong, i have a lot of friends, loyal and trusted friends, i have my family -- and if i say family that would be my mom and my relatives. i have seen them stand by me when i was so down. i know that they care and that they love me. i love them too. my family and friends. i also know that nothing lasts forever.
i know am not making sense... it's just that it seems like i would have to face my greatest fear...

f*cked up

i'm doomed... syet. i'm as good as dead. this is all my fault. i have been irresponsible. syet.

butterfly - my story

egg. of course this is when my father and mother decided to have another child. moi.

caterpillar. this stage is probably the saddest part of my life. this is when i realized that life is not just a game. that i have to be strong to survive.

pupa. is when i decided to hide from people. when i avoided people. this is when i reflected and thought about what i wanted in life. thought about the steps that i should be taking to find what we call "happiness".

butterfly. imago. i guess i can say that i am not totally at this stage yet. i am still emerging from the pupal stage. i have not achieved what i wanted yet. i know that in time i will reach my goal...

Happy Father's day!!

I never really grew up with my my dad... Anyways, Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there.

carpe diem

My mom and I were watching Rudy Fernandez’ tribute and I was already teary eyed when she said “oh well, that’s life… we all live to die. That is the permanent destiny of men. Death.” My mom has lung cancer and I was not expecting those words from her. I cried but I just pretended that I cried because of Rudy Fernandez but deep inside I got scared with what she said. I have a lot of plans for my mother and I’m not ready to let go…

bahay hunting

gusto kong lumipat uli ng bahay. sa 1 year and 6 months kong stay dito, 3 times na akong lumipat. ang unang lugar na napuntahan ko eh sa pasig. isa siyang 2 room apartment sa loob ng isang village. kelangan ko pang mag tricycle papasok ng village. hindi ako sanay mag tricyle dahil wala nun sa baguio. ok lang siguro masasanay din ako. lumipat ako dahil hindi ko matake yung mga kapitbahay ko. nung chineck ko kasi yung place, tahimik at hindi mukhang magulo. nalaman ko na lang ang katotohanan na letse hindi ko gusto yung lugar. yung katabi kong apartment eh mag asawa at isang anak ang nakatira. wala na silang ginawa kundi mag away. feeling ko nag patayan na yung mga yun, siguro nabalita na sila na miss ko lang. yung sa tapat ko naman dumadami at komokonti yung mga tao dun. sa araw tahimik dahil walang tao si ate lang ang nandun pero pag gabi na lahat ata ng pamilya, si lolo,lola, nanay, tatay, tita, tito at tig 12 na anak at mga anak pa nila ang nandun. fiesta gabi gabi sa tapat kong apartment. nag reklamo ako sa may ari ng apartment. kinausap naman niya ang mga kapit bahay ko. isang araw na tahimik ang mundo ko. after a few days. ninakawan naman ako. nawala ang cellphone ko at kung anu ano pang cheap sa loob ng apartment ko. weird kasi walang proof na pinilit buksan yung door ko. paranoid ang lola niyo, feeling ko yung me duplicate ng keys ko ang pwedeng gumawa noon. lumipat ako.
second stop ko sa boni, nag stay naman ako sa isang condo doon. nag usap kami ng friend ko. sige share na lang kami sa condo. sosyal. expensive. may mga kasama kami sa building na celebrity. ok lang. lapit lang sa work pwede akong mga bus, pero dahil tamad ako mag lakad, lagi akong nag tataxi. narealize ko mas marami pa akong nalalabas na money for rent and transpo kesa yung sweldo ko. hindi lang yan. may kaweirduhan yung friend ko. diko matake. mahal ko siya pero ayaw ko siya kasama sa bahay. nag decide akong lumipat.
dorm na lang ako ngayon nakatira. room. happy naman ako dahil safe yung lugar. accessible sa lahat. affordable at lapit lang sa office ko. hindi pwede ang visitors. lahat ng food ko kelangan bilhin sa labas. puro fastfood ang kinakainan ko. minsan na lang ako kumakain ng matinong food. gusto ko ng magluto ng sarili kong luto. gusto ko ng gulay. gusto kong kumain ng luto ko. gusto ko ng visitors.
lilipat uli ako.

David Cook

I don't know with you guys but I really love David Cook... *sigh* I knew it, he'll win American Idol season 7.

back to back to back

ayun... so buong summer akong nag busi busihan. dahil training mode ako, week ends and restday ko. three weeks ago, umuwi akong baguio for short vacation. syempre dinner sa bahay muna tapos kinaabukasan adjust ng brackets tapos afternoon coffee with friends tapos ayun balik uling manila. two weeks ago naman lumabas kami ng friends ko sa office, si vicky and mj. swimming lang sa laguna... adventure talga ang byahe namin na yun dahil sobrang ewan ko ba... lahat funny. nag commute kami, mali ang nasakyan namin so kelangan namin bumaba ng alabang mga 7pm yun. so tanong tanong kami kay manong traffic kung san kami sasakay papuntang sta. cruz sabi ni manong madalang mag hintay lang kami. so nag hihintay lang kami at kulitan. eh matagal eh so kinulit namin si manong, nainis ata samin kaya yung first na bus na nakita niya papuntang sta cruz eh pinasakay na niya kami. di namin alam hindi pala aircon yung bus and sobrang puno pa. nakatayo kami ng 2 hours. excited kami kasi 3 lang kaming aalis at matagal na naming plano yun pero di nagkakatugma restday namin. maingay kami sa bus at mukhang naiirita na katabi namin dahil sobrang likot pa namin. so lahat sila excited din na bumaba kami, tinatanong kung san kami bababa at ituturo daw nila kung nandun na kami. so feeling namin pumalakpak silang lahat nung bumaba na kami.

masarap yung food namin dun. first time kong kumain ng boiled na tulingan.

Pag kauwi namin, namula buong katawan ko and makati ha. sabi ng doctor baka nag ka allergic reaction ako as sunblock. Ok fine, di nako mag su sunblock.

last week, sa beach naman kami. la lang. naenjoy ko yung beach. sun set and yung tubig. buti na lang wala pang bagyo. kasama ko yung manager namin at sobrang lasing kami sa beach party. pero ayaw ko nang bumalik dun na kasama siya. I swear!! nakakahiya kasi... ewan ko kung ako lang pero lahat ng tao doon sa bar inuutusan niya. naiinis na yung mga bar tenders sa kanya at pati yung dj. at eto pa, mahilig kasi siya sa foreigners so ang mga kinakausap niya lang yung mga foreigners na nandun. ako naman siyempre friendlynakikipag usap kahit kanino. sabi ba naman niya sa kin " why are you with small filipinos?"... sa loob loob ko, ineng kulay mo pa lang filipino ka na, ilong mo pa lang filipino ka na at kung makapan lait ka kala mo kung sino ka... kaya ayun lumayo na lang ako sa kanya at tumambay ako sa bar. hindi ko alam kung nasabi niya yun dahil lasing siya or feeling lang siya. anyway ok lang naman kung ayaw niyang maging filipino eh. she's not going to be a good example of Filipino anyway.

wala akong pictures na ma po post for our beach thingy dahil may mukha kaming lahat. na tetempt akong i post ang kahalayan ng boss ko pero wag na, hehe, boss ko pa rin naman siya...

ayun lang ang bakasyon ko...mejo boring ang summer ko ngayon... hehe

cioa!

busy busihan...

Medyo busy ako ngayon. Nalipat ako ng LOB at nasa training nanaman ako. New set of agents kaya bagong set of problems. Bumisita lang. Pag dating sa bahay borlog na kahit restday, lakwatsa naman hehe. Summer eh... Anyway, happy naman ako so far... mag update uli ako.

petix mode

Nakuha ko lang to sa website nung isang team dito hehe... wala lang pamatay oras... petix mode

NAAALALA MO PA BA ANG PANAHON NA ...

1. Piso lang ang pamasahe (ngayo'y 7.50 pesos na) - parang diko ata ito naabutan...
2. Wala kang pinuprublema dahil musmos ka pa lang - oo naman... as in walang problema.
3. Ang babae lang ang may hikaw. - u-huh
4. Ang preso lang ang may tattoo - hmmm di rin kasi me nakikita na ako dating me tattoo...
5. Kilala mo ang lahat ng myembro ng Voltes V- ay fan ako niyan promise. kaya ko pa kantahin dati yung opening and closing song nila kahit diko naiintindihan yung kanta. am sure mali mali din yung lyrics ko...
6. Pinagtatawanan ang itim na rubber shoes at mahahabang shorts - ay uso na ang black na sneakers dati...
7. Akala mo'y magkakatuluyan sina Ate Shena at Kuya Bodjie ng Batibot - si pong pagong lang?
8. Si Erap ay sa showbiz section lang ng dyaryo nababasa - diko pa siya kilala nun
9. Nagpaka-SENTI ka sa pag-ibig (na ngayo'y pinagtatawanan mo na lang) - oo haha high school stuff... yung love team ko noon eh varsitarian, balita ko 3 na anak ngayon.. puro panganay hehe goodluck naman diba...
10. FACES ang in na gimikan - ha?
11. SM City ang pinakamagandang mall sa bansa - weh... walang mall mall samin nung bata ako.. session road lang...
12. Kinilig ka nang malaman mong ikakasal si Pops at si Martin - diko rin to naabutan...
13. Piso lang ang isang basong taho- oo parang... tapos sariling baso mo yung lalagyan ng taho... kala ko makakadugas ako yung pinaka malaking tumbler ang lagi kong dala...
14. At kailangan mong magdala ng sarili mong baso kasi wala pangplasticcups no'n si manong magtataho- ayun na nga...
15. Tarzan, Jojo, Bazooka at Totsie Roll ang pinaggagastusan mo ng mgabeinte sinko mo At kapag gusto mong kumain ng chocolate, bibili kang SERG�S, CHOCNUT at tsaka yung THUNDERBALL na kumpetensya niya- yun bazooka pa yun me comic strips hehe
16. Trianggulo pa ang Sunkist tetrapak (de hindi na tetrapak yon)- honga...
17. Nagkakakalyo ka dahil type writer pa ang ginagamit mo para sa mga school paper mo. - pinapatype ko ke mama, hehe...
18. Kaya uso pa ang carbon paper - ay hindi pwede kay mamam yun
19. At liquid paper - ayaw ni mrs julian nang maduming paper...
20. VETO ang iyong deodorant o kaya MUM (kaya lumalakas ang loob mongMaging MUMyayakap)- ay diko ata naabutan yan..
21. Tancho Gel or 3-Flowers ang pang-ayos mo ng buhok- di ko rin naabutan ito :(
22. KLIM ang tinitimpla ng nanay mo para sa'yo para inumin bagomatulog- hmmmm diko rin alam toh?
23. Walang makagambala sa'yo pag alas sais ng hapon, mula Lunes hangang Biyernes kasi cartoons na - uu ata prang 5:30 pa ata start yun?
24. Nanliligaw pa lamang si Brod Pete kay Shirley sa John and Marsha- hmmm sorry di ako fan nila...
25. Nakakapag-grocery ka na 50 pesos lang ang dala- honga eh... syet ngayon wala nako mabili sa 50 pesos...
26. Anim na numero lang ang kailangan mong tandaan para tawagan angkaibigan mo sa telepono- check ka jan...
27. At hirap na hirap kang tumawag mula sa public phone kasi limangdyis ang kailangan mong hagilapin- di naman...
28. Sosyal si pareng Mon kasi naka-cell phone siya, ngunit hanggangkotse lang yon kasi mabigat bitbitin- yung mga analag hehe
29. Si Helen Vela ang naririnig mo pag binuksan mo ang radyo mo- hmmm sa TV ko na siya nakikita
29. Dalawang piso lang ang songhits- meron bang 2 piso na songhits?
30. Iniisip mong dapat mag-retire na si Jaworski kasi kuwarenta anyosna siya- honga eh.. tanda na niya no?
31. Pango pa si Vilma- ahaha...
32. Kay Amado Pineda ka lang naniniwala pag ukol sa panahon ang balita- sino po yun?
33. JD bus na kulay pula pa ang sinasakyan mo papuntang Quezon CityKung sa Makati naman ang punta, mo MAPALAD LINER. At kung taga-SanAndres ka, sakay-sakay ka ng bus na V-LINER, TAGLE TRANS o LYNNSLINER.Maliban na nga lang kung mamalengke ka sa Paco at nakahanay angKaritelang naghihintay sa iyo- ay di para sakin to...
34. Yung nasa COD lang ang alam mong Teatro kapag Pasko- ah?
35. Bilib na bilib ka sa game and watch!-??
36. Umiinom ka pa ng Choco-Vim sa bote (SARAP)- diko lam yan ... :(

....... Kung naaalala mo pa yun ..... M A T A N D A K A NA !!!!!

Di ako nakakarelate sa iba kaya siguro bata pa ako hehe... la lang... memories nga naman oo...

non emo

I'm back...
hmmmm... well I was not able to go to the beach. I had to go home to Baguio instead since my mother had her chemo. I still enjoyed my vacation. I was able to spend more time with my mother, my aunt and my nieces. I was so busy visiting my cousins and
friends that I haven’t seen for the longest time. I was not able to blog and besides my nieces were busy playing that fish thing at home (‘til now I still don’t get the goal of that game, they just kept on clicking the fishes).

It was a blessing that I didn’t go to the beach because I was able to talk to my Mother about my plans. Things that I wanted to do. You see, I can say that my future is not well planned. Everything changed when I was not able to go to Med school. When I was still in college, I didn’t bother having plan B in case I would not be able to attend Med school. I was so sure then that I would be a successful ob gynecologist. Maybe it’s not really for me. I was so lost when I was told that I can not go to Med school because of financial issues at home. My big brother was willing to help me but even before I graduated, he got married.

I ranted to my Mom (bad, bad). I cried (big time). I told her that I am not happy anymore with what I am doing. I wanted to go back to school. Not to med school but at least finish my Masters and if I could have PhD then that would be better. I can always go back to school but the problem is that I would have to look for a day job. I had a chance to go back to school but because of an a-hole (excuse me po) I, again, had to change my plans but it was useless. I am not earning a lot here in my current job but compared to other jobs I can say that I am earning more. If I give up my job, I would give up the health benefits that I have here in our company and in fairness to them it is helping us a lot financially specially with my Mom’s condition. If I give up my job, money would be again an issue.

I told her I wanted to go back to what I used to do before. Social work Education. I would definitely not earn that much but I know that I would be fulfilled with what I will do. She said she will be supporting me in what ever my plans are. She would even help me look for a good organization where I could apply to (my mother’s a social worker). After talking to her, I felt better. I may not have gone to the beach to unload my burden but I was able to talk to the person who could understand me. To the person who knows how crazy I am but would still support me and love me.

Thanks Mother, I know you won’t be able to read this (nobody knows I’m blogging not even my best friend) but I still thank you. I love you…

Oh well, I can still go to the beach, nope, not to Boracay, I’d rather spend my time in Panglao Island than in Boracay where crowd is not too friendly. Beep beep sorry po sa mga tambay ng Boracay. hehe

VL

yehey... pagkatapos kong mag reklamo ng pagka tagal tagal makakapag bakasyon na rin ako. maikli lang naman pero i'll make sure na mega bakasyon ako. so well planned ang pag spend ko ng 4 days kong bakasyon. of course kasama na doon ang beach! beach! at beach pa. ewan ko ba pero kahit noon pa feeling ko nakakapag unload ako ng burden ko pag nasa beach ako. hindi ko alam kung anong meron ang dagat. di naman ako marunong lumangoy. lumaki naman ako sa bundok so di ko talaga gets kung bakit ako adik sa dagat. meron pang time na nag pupunta ako ng dagat mag isa... call me weird pero basta. diko maexplain kung bakit. adik din ako sa sunset, tuwang tuwa ako pag nakikita ko ibat ibang kulay ng kalangitan hapag lumulubog ang araw. sabi nga ng mga friends ko bitter lang daw ako at mas na aappreciate ko ang sunset kesa sunrise. anyway, goobye muna sa work. good bye audits, good bye complaints and goodbye bossing... don't worry i'll be back... mwaahh!!

beach

gosh... i'm really getting confused... am not happy with what i am doing anymore. i swear i'm working really hard to motivate my self to be more productive at work but i can't. i'm not a quitter but this time i'm really giving up. maybe i just have to do something different, and that would be quitting my job. BUT i dont want to be a bum... ah, i know, i'll take a long vacation (yahoo beeaaacchhh) and think about my other options. if i have...

moment

nagkita kita kami ng friends ko at siyempre dahil pareho kami ng set of friends ni mr. banker nagkita rin kami. la lang kwentuhan kumustahan. naiwan kami ni mr. banker (as in kami lang; wink wink) na nag uusap. tapos sa gitna ng usapan namin bigla siyang nag stop mag salita at nakatitig lang sakin...

moi: what? why are you staring at me?

mr. banker : la lang i just want to enjoy this moment...

syempre kinilig ang lola niyo... i just want to blog about that moment.

**mr.banker and i used to date but because of our differences we decided to separate ways**

note: pic is taken from http://www.androidblues.com

bawas stress

dahil naiinis nako, nag pagupit ako. hehe. may bangs nako ngayon...




Note: sorry cheapanggang phone ang gamit ko :)

again?

May attrition nanaman ako... forta! Nakakainis na... masama ba akong boss? Meron nanamang nag AWOL... pangalawa na to ngayong year na to. March pa lang ah... sabi ko na kasi ke Dexter eh (trainer namin) dapat yung mga hinahire yung kelangan talaga ng trabaho at hindi yung mag tatrabaho lang for fun.
Di ko lang talga maisip bakit kaya ang lakas ng loob nilang magpaka bum, yung aasa lang sa padala ng parents to think na may sarili na silang pamilya... hay, hirap talaga mag salita. Sabagay, diko naman din sila masisisi, kahit na sino sigurong sa callcenter nag tatrabaho eh mabuburat kung kausap mo eh puro racist. Naalala ko tuloy yung isang rep ko, sabi nung customer niya "i don't understand why they're bringing our jobs to third world countries like yours..." sabi ni batman " do you know what right click is?" sabi ni mr. customer "no" batman replied " that, sir, is the reason why we have your job..." Isa lang yan sa mga nakakainis sa scenario. Hay, sabi ko nga eh, kung meron lang puwedeng work na hindi sa call center eh di dun na lang ako. Pero saan? saan naman ako mag tatrabaho? Hirap din naman kasi mag hanap ng work na angkop sa course na natapos ko... Pwede siguro akong magturo pag natapos ko masters ko, pero kelan pa yun? Hindi ko na natuloy mula nung nag call center ako.
Alam ko wala akong karapatan mag reklamo dahil sumusweldo naman ako pero minsan kasi kakaburat na talaga. Tapos mga kasama ko pa sa trabaho eh wala ng ginawa kundi mag inarte...
Ayun, la lang reklamo mode lang nanaman ako...

...

PA time. Basa and comment mode muna. No rants for now.

work, work, work...

back to work... back to reality...

peste

akala ko ok na ako... akala ko nakaget over nako. nagkamali pala ako. bakit naman kasi ang liit ng mundo eh. bakit sa dinami dami ng kompanya kung san pwedeng mag apply kaibigan ko sa inyo pa siya nag apply at ang masama pa niyan naging TL ka pa niya. syet. syet. bakit? at bakit din kelangan maging office mate niyo ang kapatid ng isa pang ex ko. syet talaga. ang sikip na ng mundo natin. di na ko makagalaw. pumayag akong makipagkita sayo dahil akala ko magiging ok lang ako pagkatapos.

ok pa naman ako nung napag usapan pa lang natin na magmeet tayo kasama ang friend ko na agent mo. dumaan kayo ng office namin, hinintay ko pa kayo. ok lang me tatapusin din naman akong deliverables ko. nagtext kang nasa baba na kayo. number lang ang nag appear dahil binura ko na pala yung number mo sa phone ko. bumaba nako. nag ayos pako konti para naman hindi mo ako makitang haggard, naging boss mo rin naman yung boss ko kaya alam mo kung anong klaseng boss meron ako. isa pang kinakakasama ng loob ko yan sa'yo, iniwan mo akong linisin ang pangalan mo sa office. nagresign ka at ini asa mo sa kin lahat ng dapat mong tapusin bago ka magresign. mga agents mo dati ako nag asikaso. ni ha ni ho wala akong narinig from you. pero ok lang lang. kahit na sarili kong agents di ko na naasikaso dahil sa spoiled mong agents, mahal pa kita noon. sarado pa mata ko noon.

una kong nakita yung friend ko. pagsilip mo sa window ng sasakyan mo. naloka ako. bumalik lahat sa akin. lahat lahat. lahat ng mura at pang iinsulto sakin ng nanay mo dahil hindi kami mayaman. mga tawag tawag ng kapatid mo at iba mo pang kamag anak. ang mga friendster message ng kapatid mo. naalala ko kung pano mo ako nilaglag. kung paano kong binago lahat ng plano ko sa buhay dahil kelangan kasama ka na sa plano ko. binago ko lahat yun para ma accomodate kita. naalala ko yung sinabi mo sakin na "no matter what happens, baby, i won't leave you..." tinanong kita ng maraming beses, "are you really ready for everything? being with me means sacrificing a lot. that means sacrificing some of your luho. unlike your family, we don't own a lot..." sabi mo "i'm willing to sacrifice everything just to be with you". pinababalik kita sa mama mo pero ayaw mo. sabi mo di mo kayang mawala ako.

naniwala ako. naniwala akong walang iwanan. nilunok ko lahat ng insulto ng nanay mo. hindi ko sila pinatulan kahit na sa tanang buhay ko sa kanila ko lang na experience ang ganun. respetado ang pamilya namin kahit middle class lang kami at di katulad niyong natutulog sa pera. pinalaki kami ng maayos ng mama ko (kahit lagi akong nagmumura at pasaway ako) kaya nanibago ako sa trato ng pamilya mo sa akin. tapos pagkasabi lang sa'yo na tatangalan ka ng mana, bigla kang nawala. syet ka. syet ka talaga.

siyempre hindi mo dapat malaman na hirap pa rin ako dahil mas lalong lalaki ang malaki mo ng ulo. hindi ako hirap dahil mahal pa rin kita pero hirap ako dahil sinira mo plano ko sa buhay. sinira mo lahat lahat. nagsimula nanaman ako ako. inaayos ko na buhay ko. buhay kong pinayagan kong sirain mo. hirap ako dahil pumayag akong gaguhin ng isang katulad mo. alam natin pareho kung saan galing yang yaman niyo. alam nating pareho kung saan kayo nagsimula. at alam mo kung anong prinsipyo ko sa buhay. tinanggap kita ng buo kahit taliwas ang ibang bagay na ginagawa niyo sa prinsipyo ko. tapos ilalaglag mo lang ako. eh gago ka pala talaga eh.

dahil nga sa mga pagkakataon na di maiiwasan, kelangan kong matutong mabuhay na nakikita ka. maliit na nga ang mundo. lalo pa itong sumisikip habang tumatagal. wala akong magagawa kundi pag aralan ang mag co exist with peste na katulad mo. ayoko ng tumakbo at magtago. diko yun gagawin dahil lang sa isang tulad mo. hindi ako perpekto alam ko yun pero peste ka pa rin. kung yan ang tingin ng pamilya mo sakin. pwes, peste ka rin ng buhay ko... hindi lang sa buhay ko kundi sa ibang tao. sa mga taong napapaniwala niyo at ginagamit niyo.

post valentine's blues

Haaayy.. been out for a while. i just don't want to talk about valentine's day, love and sex. haha. bitter? oh yeah, maybe i am but i don't care. i went out of town for vacation. i spent some time with my friends and i realized that i missed them so much. we didn't really do anything but talking to someone who could understand you really helps. i talked and talked and talked and talked and they listened even if i know that i was already talking nonsense. talked 'bout my sucky job and someone offered to have my resume printed (weow, i liked that), talked 'bout my mom and they comforted me, talked 'bout my a-hole ex-boyfriend and well, they just laughed at me because for the nth time i failed this aspect of my life. hehe. anyway, i feel lighter and better after unloading everything. thanks to my real friends. labya ol!

booboo

Rome : Thank you for calling ______ Customer Service my name is Rome, may I have your first name please.

Customer: R-U-T-H

Rome: I'm sorry ma'am, I'm a customer service representative not a T.H.

Moi: cartwheel ako sa floor

after restday

i have a lot of things to do after my rest day so i'll not be posting any for a few days. grrr... i might be firing someone from my team, God, i hate doing that, but he has to suffer the consequences of his actions...

restday

ok... so it's my restday today. i'm bored to death. booooorrrreeeeddd as in borrreeeeddd.

bitter

Dahil hindi ako marunong magsulat, in english and in filipino, nagbabasa na lang ako ng mga kwento ng buhay buhay ng ibang tao. Marami akong natututunan. Minsan nakakarelate ako sa mga kwento nila, minsan naman lost ako at kung minsan feeling ko ako yung nasa kwento.
At dahil sadyang paki alamera ako, mega click ako ng mga links ng mga asa favorites ko. Mga kwento ng pag ibig...

Ang selfish ko nga eh kasi feeling ko ako lang ang laging nasasaktan. Feeling ko ako lang ang iniiwan. Hindi pala, somewhere out there, someone also feels like the way I do. Someone is also trying to get over someone whom they loved so much.

Naiingit ako minsan sa mga relation na sobrang tagal na. Sa mga relationships na perfect. Pero sa likod pala ng perfect na relationship na yun eh mga sakitan at sobrang sakripisyo sa end ng isa sa kanila. Kailangan i sacrifice ang sariling hapiness and freedom para mapasaya ang pamilya. Kailangang itago ang totoong identity para matanggap ng karelasyon. Kailangan ibaba ng husto ang dignity para lang mahalin ng taong mahal nila. Ang weird no? Kung sinong mahal mo meron mahal na iba at ewan ba kung bakit di mo magawang mahalin yung taong mahal ka naman.

Bilib ako sa mga taong kayang panindigan yung mga taong mahal nila. Yung mga willing isacrifice ang "mana" (hehe telenovela) nila to be with someone whom they really love. Sa mga taong kahit deformed na yung itsura ng kasama nila eh proud pa rin sila. Sa mga taong tanggap nila kung ano and kung anong meron yung taong mahal nila.

Probably its natural for us humans to force ourselves to forget our past thinking that it would change our future but we can't deny the fact that our past is a part of who we are today. Our past is the reason why our future is better. For me, my past made me who I am today. People who have hurt me made me stronger, helped me grow and made me realize that happiness is something that I can have with out them... So, whether I like it or not, olrac, taekwondo black belt, mr. banker, atty lawyer and donald duck are part of me even if they suck (teehee bitter!) ;)

notebook

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

Today, I have decided to change. I felt like I was always in the dark, I hated everyone for leaving me in the dark. I felt like I was walking along a dark alley alone. I was wrong. My eyes were closed all along because I was scared. I was scared of seeing the real world. I was scared of failure. I was scared of seeing something that I cannot handle.

Today, I have decided to open my eyes. I realized that I have missed a lot. Everyone was helping me and it was I who was not reaching out to them. I was never in the dark but I have chosen to shut my eyes. Yes, I know my sanity has left me a long time ago. Funny, even my sanity can’t stand me. I have been complaining yet I was not doing my part.

Today, I have decided to change. To change for good.

Note: I know it doesn’t make sense. This was something that I wrote when I was in college. Found it in my Biochemistry notebook. :)

Biyahe

Bumiyahe ako kahapon ng 11:00 AM. Buti na kang di ako inaabutan masyado ng traffic. Syempre dahil galing sa shift, nakatulog kagad ang lola niyo. Nagising ako nung asa tarlac na ako. habang asa biyahe muni muni ako. napansin kong meron nag iisang puno na nasa gitna ng farm. hindi ko alam kung anong puno yun pero nalungkot ako nung nakita ko yun. nagiisa lang siya at ni wala man lang farm animals akong nakita. sabi nila kung mag isa lang ang tree wala siya ka kompetensya sa nutrients na na kukuha from the soil tsaka wala rin siyang ka kompetensya sa light. naisip ko, hindi naman siguro siya malungkot kahit mag isa siya dahil asa kanya na lahat...

+++++

Nakuha na ng nanay ko yung result ng CTSCAN niya. lumaki daw yung mass sa liver niya hopefuly, maagapan uli yun. my mother had therapy last year for lung cancer, lumaban siya at ngayon eh nagtuturo na uli siya sa university dito sa amin. idol ko ang nanay ko dahil magisa niya kaming pinalaki ng kuya ko. maliban samin meron pa siyang pinag aaral na mga kamag anak at mga taong di ko kilala. maraming taong natulungan ang nanay ko at nung kami naman ang nangailangan ng tulong, maraming sumuporta sa amin. ngayong nag spread sa liver niya yung cancer cells, panibagong challenge uli ito sa amin... i know everything will be fine...

sakit sakitan

lahat kami sa team ko may sakit. lahat kami paos and sinisipon. me pinauwi ako kahapon dahil ang taas ng fever niya. weird nga eh uminom na siya ng meds pero tumaas pa palo yung lagnat niya. ayun sana lang wag siyang umabsent ngayon dahil marami ng absent lagi sa team ko.

" coachie, drink salabat" yan ang banat sakin nung isang rep ko dahil nahihirapan siyang intindihin ako habang kinakausap ko siya. ayun try ko nga salabat pag uwi ko and yehey, uuwi ako ng baguio tomorrow ang saya saya naman, sana lang wag masyadong maginaw baka lalo akong ubuhin.

team building

We went on team building last Tuesday. Not everyone joined but we still had fun. I learned a lot about my reps who are my friends outside work.

sheila - she is giving birth to their first baby (after 10 years- literally 10 years...) at the end of the month. she does not always get absent even if she is pregnant. she has been consistent in meeting her metrics.
meng - married but is not living with his wife and baby. he does'nt want to share his love story because he doesnt want to cry.
maui - still inlove with her ex who owes her a lot of money.
joel - was always out. missed a lot of fun because he was always on the phone with his baby.
jay - took care of every one, she is also very much inlove with her girlfriend and she is very very loyal to her.
grace - did not join the team building because it is an over night activity and her mom did not allow her to join us. she is one of the team's top performers.
gene - she is also pregnant but unlike shiela, she is always absent. she was absent for the 1st two weeks of January 2008.
Fati - has personal issues, hates her mom so much. she is always getting sick and she is always absent. she is friends with aaron.

chris - best dancer ever. teehee. he danced all night and when he saw his video, he wanted to kill himself


brett - he is a black belter. he is also always getting sick. he is friends with fati, aaron and bobzie.

bobzie - claims that his real father is chinese but he grew up with a japanese dad, said that he sleeps in a coffin and that he is married to a canadian girl that nobody has seen. he also hates his mom. he is friends with fati.

alex - new member of the team. said that he was in networking business before. i guess he is not yet used to working for somebody else since he is always getting absent. he is only with the team for a month and he already got a memo for his attendance.


Aaron - he was never absent since he joined the company. he is also married but is not living with his wife and kid. his wife was asking me last time though if he joined our team building. (hmmm..?!)


Van - kikay of the team. I've never expected that behind her kakikayan, she also has a cowboy side. she, like me, has also a telenovela love story.

batman - hopeless romantic. he is still in love with his team mate and he is still i guess trying to get over her. :)

confused?

lagi akong nalulungkot ako ako lately, diko akam kung anong nangyayari... eto na ba yung tinatawag nilang midlife crisis? hindi ako fulfilled sa ginagawa ko, mas masaya pa ako nung nag vo volunteer pa ako sa youth center dati kahit na transpo allowance lang ang meron kami. masaya ako pag nakikita ko yung mga high school students nakakausapn namin tungkol sa buhay buhay nila.
oo, totoo, mejo ok ang kita ako ngayon pero hindi na talaga ako masaya. hindi ko alam kung anong problema ko. hindi ko alam kung saan ako patutungo. hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin kong next sa buhay ko. lagi na lang ganito, pag meron akong plan na hindi nag wowork, na didisorient ako at dun ako nag sisimulang madepress. baliw kaya ako? o sadyang di lang ako nakukuntento sa meron ako. am i always asking for more? work ko nga ba ang problema ko? love life kaya? hindi ko alam... sabi ko nga, i am still on the process of moving on, of forgetting the person whom i loved and trusted so much. saglit lang naman kami pero bakit sobrang hurt ako, di ko rin yun maintindihan. family kaya? i'm sure hindi kasi nanjan naman lagi mama ko at mga pinsan ko para umalalay sakin everytime i fall. galit lang kaya ako sa mundo? hindi ko rin alam... i am already old and i am still confused. i don't know where to go. i don't know what to do. matanda na ako para sa ganitong bagay pero promise, naguguluhan talaga ako. siguro spiritually kulang din ako kaya ganito... diko talaga alam... bahala na... nakakapagod ng tumakbo pero kung yung ang kelangan kong gawin para ma solve ang problema ko na diko naman alam kung ano pero yun ang gagawin ko...tumakbo, magtago at patuloy kong hahanapin kong sino at ano nga ba ako.

lesson from Gemmer

Gem: Girl, tumawag siya sakin nung new year… Ni greet niya lang ako ako.
Moi: Ah talga? Anong sinabi niya?
Gem: Wala greet lang, dinedma ko nga. Pagkatapos ng ginawa niya sakin?!
Moi: Oh bakit parang galit ka pa rin? Bitter? He he, Kala ko ba nakapag move on ka na?
Gem: Girl, naman, nakapag move on na ako pero iba ang moving on tsaka getting over some one…
Moi: ah ok.. ganun ba yun? Hehe sorry ha di ko lam eh
Gem: Moving on eh eh yung nakapag move on ka pero meron pa rin ikaw nafifeel. Yung getting over eh yung totally na wala na siya. Nada! Nothing! Lam mo yun?
Moi: ah ok…


I have been thinking ‘bout what he told me and it makes sense. I have already moved on but I’m still on the process of getting over him. Pathetic isn’t it?